170.0 again

today i said to my trainer, i want to lose fat…make it happen.  then he gave me another run down of what i’m supposed to eat.  and for all of one hour i was convinced i would listen.

and then the day happened, and i proved i coudl not.

 

intake:

groupnd beef n egg whites, ketchup

workout w/ trainer plus 30 cardio 10 before, 25 after 10 step 18ish (1mile) treadmill … ok a lil more than 30 total

5 garlic knots, 1 slice bread dipped in oil n spices

1 grilled ckn wrap w/ ranch dressing

nap.   for forever.

dinner – water, subway blt, chips baked lays

Fatness

I feel fatty again. Because I am.

In
Yogurt
Water
Acai juice
Egg gr beef ketchup
Eggplant wrap gorg
6 in subway sub- grill ckn
1 bag baked lays

No ex
Watched a show
Need to walk the line. Sooo sloppy.

It’s a hard balance

Because in the end, i’m a student, i’m a houswife, i’m someone who wants to red the newspaper and a couple of great books, i’m interested in the world and fixing it…and i just don’t know how. and i also want to be selfish and have a great physique and concentrate on ME. It’s a hard balance. it’s really hard. And i just don’t know how well I’m doing…

An animal

I have been working out like an animal. I have been eating all-right. Nothing fabulous. I have come to the point where I incorporate enough clean and healthy foods that anything with carbs is bad. Yesterday I had the wierdest intake

1-granola cereal, then 6 saltines with cheddar
2- workout, tangerine, water (workout cardio class then 50 mins addl on machines) 3-3 whole wheat pitas with grilled eggplant and gorg- ssoooooo goood! 4- tangerine on train
5- 3 baby gl wine, Spain, odd potato apps, odd garlic fried chicken wing aps, 6- iced tea sweet, 1 wrap fried ckn ranch, small fries mcd

Jesus Christ I have to watch what I eat. Obviously when I don’t I add the strangest things. Now the wine not so bad, but I could have had less apps and of course said no to crackers n cheese for breakfast! Although I don’t think my choices at mcd were horrible. I think the fries was the worst of it. Although I think that a wrap and sweet tea are ok, not clean by Any measure, but not the worst I could be doing to myself.

168.8 this am

And I haven’t even been eating that great.
Yesterday I did so another 30 after my training session; and today after another one of leighanne kick ass cardio classes, I did a total of an additional 50 mins. I did 20 precor, 10 stepper, 20 treadmill- intense walk, no jog. Then stretch.

But. But. But. Breakfast was pretty shitty. I had granola cereal. Then I still wanted more so foolishly cut up some cheese and crackers and had a plate ful. Could have been worse. But could have been better too. Oy vey

My new normal weight

Is 170. Thank God.
I was sick thus past week, hence te slow-down in progress. When sick one doe not feel like eating clean. One wants to eat things that are warm and carby, like bagels with lox spread, or chicken noodle soup. And when H says let’s get pizza- I say sure, I want to eat something warm. And I do. And I have FOUR slices. Which were thin. But that doesn’t matter because there were FOUR of them.

And yet, today I weigh 170. Which is good considering I ate four slices of pizza last night. So methinks 170 is my new normal weight. I almost wrote 160— ah how great that will be. Can’t wait to get there. Baby steps…140 by dec? Maybe more like 140′s…I’d be happy to be hovering somewhere just under 150.

Still not 100% but feeling much better. At least I can breathe through my nose now.

i just cant stay awake

and i have friggin work to do!
ugh.

acai
1/2 serv egg whites, ground beef, etchup
water
spin class- awesome as usual
140 cal z bar – organiic protein bar
gr beef and gorg cheese
60 cal pudding
2 burger pattys, 1 bun, ketchup
another 60 cal pudding

oh good lord i want to take a nap! but dont i have work to do today — why yes, yes i do!

Kick ass workout to combat the cramps

Today I was paralyzed with pain. Then I got over msyelf just enough to barely stumble into the gym. Then this is what I did:
10 mins stair climber
10 mins precor- 10 intensity, 10 incline

Drills: 3x
Using step, 2 risers: 9 lb body bar 1st set; 12 lb body bar 2nd set till fatigue, then 9 lb bar. 30 overhead press while power A-steps (jumps more like it)
-using same step, step ups with 10 lbs each overhead press. Last 2 sets did with lunge on way down
-10 shoulder rows- Elbows out to sides

2nd set drills: 3x
W ball- abs, arm rollout 10x
W ball- abs legs, on back lift butt, then pull legs in 15x
On ball- 10 1st set, 12.5 other sets; flys
On ball- ” “; press (army press?)

Stretch. Leme tell you- I felt friggin amazing after that workout. I was tired and sweaty after each set. It was frigging fabulous.

Now fir the eats.
Well- I had cramps. So it goes like this
Cereal- I know! And like 3 big coffee mug sized bowls
Coffee-because I was convinced that would help
Z bar- 140 cals
Egg gr beef ketchup
Yogurt 80 cals
Z bar 2x- 280 cals total

I need more fruits n veggies in the house. I keep eating those damn protein bars.,.. Well, organic childrens bars, but still.

Falling to the Wayside…

yesterday. the in-laws are in town. this means long days of eating. and. it was our boss’s anniversary with our company – this means 2 tall beers, and cheeze doodles to help me sober up. this also means the workouts were non-existant. but yesterday was sunday… (and didn’t i exercise on saturday, my typical day off?)

sunday. eats.

-ground beef , egg whites, ketchup

-tea, water

-banana

-2 beers, tall blue moon

-2 small bags of cheezie poofs

-salad, bals vinegar

-1 slice bread

-pasta, not so big, like 1 1/2 scoop; 2 meatballs; 1 slice brownie, like the size of 2 1/2 of my fingers, coffee with milk n splenda

-no exercise. damn my tight schedule.

today. eats.

acai juice

egg w gr beef, w ketchup

gr beef w gorg

60 cal pudding

180 cal ice cream bar

120 cal z bar, (mini protein bar)

water

more gr beef and gorg

later will have egg w/ gr beef n ketchup, yogurt 80 cals, banana, 120 cal z bar

-no exercise yet. maybe try to get it in after class. the one thing about getting busier, is that things fall to the wayside. which sucks.

Had all the later except
Banana
And gr beef egg thing
Instead had
Chick p salad w ground beef gorg oil vinegar
60 cal pudding

Just be healthy!!

Work.
Tea. Diet.
Coffee. 2 splenda.
Chick p, kidney beans, Italian vinegar, noodles small, gorg
Tomatoes, gr turkey, Italian
Yogurt- forgot flavor
Banana
Water

Massage
Exercise! 10 precor, high intensity- no baby girly shit, 10 stair master (yes I broke it with my ferocity), drill sets :3x squat plus overhead press 12 lbs, step ups w 8 lb ball, trunk twists 8 lbs. Set 2; 2x each- 50 lb squat, 50 lb dead mans lift, 30 lb trunk twist, 8 lb squat on half bosu.

Post- 1/2 salad ranch dress, fried ckn -gross!
D- ckn nuggets 3x, baked potato, carder side salad– hello fatty, hello wendys! Well, it’s not like I didn’t know what I was doing. I just kept doing it. I have no idea why I hurt myself the way I do. It just– it’s just so wrong.